10 Disempowering Behaviors To Avoid At All Costs

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10 Disempowering Behaviors To Avoid At All Costs

                                                 balanced-living
Welcome back to Balance with Dr Shola! 
Today we are going to go deep, to address attitudes and behaviors that can hinder our progress in life. 
Here are 10 of them that you MUST avoid:
  1. Blaming everyone but yourself for your current state and not taking responsibility for fixing things that are within your control
  2. Asking why me? Now, when was that question ever answered? “Why me?” is disempowering in that makes you wallow in self pity, believing that you were singled out for misfortune by some cosmic alien force. Life happens to all, and there is no one who has not been blindsided by tragedy.
  3. Thinking that you are un-worthy of good things. Well, you are not unworthy. You are worthy, God loves you unconditionally, just get close to Him and know the good Father that you have.
  4. Thinking that you have to measure up to some perfect ideal. The question is whose ideals are you trying to measure up to? Some folks love their lives on the ideals of other people. Working mothers can feel guilty because they are not home enough; stay-at-home-mothers can feel guilty because they are not in the work force. If you do not have a college degree, you may feel that you are less of a person because you do not have one. If you have a bachelor’s degree you may feel that you need a master’s degree to “arrive”. The question is are you doing things for you or just to measure up to other people ideals of what you should be? Live your life and stay in your own lane.
  5. Being approval hungry: If you are “approval hungry” you will never achieve anything great. If you ask all and sundry what to do, you will get many differing opinions. If you meet with other peoples disapproval on the way to achieving your dreams, so what? It is your dream, not theirs. Now, there is a balance. You need mentors for your next level and you do need counsel, however, you cannot allow every naysayer to have access into your innermost life. Some people’s dreams were cut short in their infancy because they met with sideways glances of naysayers.
  6. Expecting unrealistic ease: We want peace, ease, and balance, but life is an upward climb. Sometimes people tell me that I am “lucky” to be a doctor and have a good income from what I do. Well, that may be the case but it took over 15 years of striving to come to a point of making a high income. It took years of study, leaving whole countries in search of better opportunities, and singular focus. I spent all my single years studying, not partying, not traveling, not making a living, just to get to this point. The fact that something is not easy does not mean that you should abandon it.
  7. Fear of loss: To make money, you may lose some money along the way. To get better relationships, you might need to lose some not too good ones. To get a To get a better life you might have to leave the familiar, for the unfamiliar. Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
  8.  Fear of failure: What if I fall? To which I reply: what if you fly? The fact is, so called failure is an integral part of life. What if the first time a baby took a few steps and fell, she said: “Well walking is not for me. I will crawl for the rest of my life”. That sound silly right? However, so many of us do this all the time. We do not try things because we are afraid of not getting it right the first time. We try something once, it doesn’t work out, we give up, because we are afraid to fail. Even if you are afraid, do it anyway. Everything you want is on the other side of fear.
  9. Fear of success: This is the one that most people will not admit to having, and while I can say that I have more or less conquered fear of loss and fear of failure, the fear of success still gets me every now and then. What if you can’t handle it? What if you get rich and “relatives” start coming out of the woodwork? What if I finally become a doctor and have responsibility for all these lives? What if I finally make it to the C -suite and I can’t deliver? Fear of success leads to self sabotage. Until you deal with fear of success, you will constantly get in your own way!
  10.  Desperation: Desperation is a killer of common sense and it is a sure method to completely give your power away to your circumstances. Unless you are in a true desperate situation, that is immediate threat of loss of life or limb, the rest is just details. If you are reading this, it is unlikely that that is the case. Whatever it is that you think you are desperate for, pause take a breath, break state, and focus on what you do have that is working for you. As you do that, you will start to feel better. Now, think about all the times that God helped you out of a sticky situation. Pray on whatever is bothering you (take however long you need) and then write the solution that you want in a journal. The whole point of this exercise is to be at peace and get rid of feelings of desperation. Solutions will come when you least expect. Do not give up, but do not put desperation out there. You will not get good results.

 

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What other disempowering things have you noticed, that you or other people do?

Please share this with others!
Stay In Touch!
Send me an email: shola@sholashade.com
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Schedule a strategy session to jumpstart your journey to a balanced life!
Warm regards
Dr Shola Ezeokoli
“Transformation through balance”
“A balanced life is a beautiful life”
sholashade.com
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