An Open Letter to A ManAdeshola Ezeokoli
Empower Your Wife
I would like to invite you on a journey. How do you relate to your wife or fiancée with regards to her dreams, passions and visions? Are you empowering her or are you discouraging her?
Let me share this quick story.
One day I was standing with a group of men just chatting, and I started to speak about some of the things I was doing, with one of the gentlemen. As I was talking about my latest book, my husband joined us. The man turned to my husband and said, “Congratulations. You must be so proud of your wife.” My husband did actually beam with pride.
Hold that thought.
The Bible says let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds, and praise your Father in heaven.
Hold that thought.
Dear man, please make up your mind to empower your wife to be everything that God has ordained her to be. I meet many women, who have great ideas, plans and visions, but feel stifled by their husbands. If they are single, they somehow feel that they have to “dumb it down” to attract a husband! In 2014, this is not meant to be. If your wife has visions, purpose and a great mind, it is your job to push her (albeit gently) to bring those visions to pass. It is your role to let her spread her wings and fly. If you do not empower her, encourage her, and cheer her on, she will feel unfulfilled. If you make her suppress the gifts and callings that she has, she may pretend to be fine for a while, and then get restless. If you succeed in intimidating her into giving up on her purpose, you may deprive untold numbers of people of
being blessed by her. You will indeed deprive yourself of the blessing too!
Will you not let her shine her light so that people may see her good works and praise God for them? If your wife is a lioness, does that not make you a lion? A lioness cannot be successfully paired with a housecat!
My husband encourages me to be all that I can be, even when there are things that I do not think I can do, he looks at me and says in a plain voice, “You have the capacity”. He does not only support me in words, but in deed also. He pushes me to do the things that God wants me to do. Does that make him passive? Not at all! He is a doctor, a marriage minister, a Pastor and a very hands-on father to our daughters. I am trying to get him to do more writing, but with not much luck, so far….
The point I am trying to make is that if your wife or fiancée or girlfriend is living out (or trying to live out) her purpose, it does not reflect badly on you at all! It does not mean that you abandon your own dreams. How many men suppress their wives’ dreams because of insecurity? A marriage is not competitive, it is complimentary. When your wife looks good, you look good. When your wife does well, you and your children do well.
Look at the Proverbs 31 woman. This is not a woman who is barefoot and pregnant her whole life long. She is busy, she has employees, businesses, etc. Above all, her husband is known because she brings him honor in all that she does. Be secure in yourself and who you are, and you will not need to put your wife down to be “on top”. Remember if you have/want a lioness, you can only be……a lion! Lions do not suppress lionesses.
Do not let her put out her light; do not quench her fire; let her make more money; have more twitter followers; have a large ministry; manifest her greatness; bless her world; be creative.
It is yours to enjoy.
Thank you for reading this.
Love in Christ,
Dr. ‘Shola Ezeokoli