Approval Hunger: The Sure Death of a Dream (Dreamkillers-5)Adeshola Ezeokoli
In the past 4 weeks, I have written about factors in and around us that serve as dreamkillers. Today I will be writing about the last one: approval hunger.
Are you a people pleaser? Do you seek the approval of many people before you launch out and do what it is that you need to do? Do you run from pillar to post, asking the opinion of every Tom, Dick and Harry before you make a move? Do you procrastinate because you are not sure of what x, y, or z will think, about what you are planning to do? Do you want most people to like what you plan to do? Do you hide behind the phrase “God willing” because you are afraid of what people might say if you take that bold step?
I can honestly say that if I was waiting for human approval to make most of the major decisions in my life, I would not have taken them and I would not be where I am today. That is not to say that I am a famous celebrity or anything like that, but I would have been very far from where I should have been, had I been waiting for the applause and approval of all and sundry.
Do not be an approval addict. If you are approval hungry, you will never achieve anything great. Now, to balance this, there is a place of mentors, counsellors and trusted friends who will give you their opinions. Based upon the relationships, you will know whose advice you can trust. It is still left to you to make a decision, and do what you need to do, whether it is popular or not. Sometimes people give you advice, based on their personal agendas, that is not necessarily in your best interests. Sometimes people closest to you may not agree with what you are doing.
Focus on God, focus on your goals and what you are trying to achieve. Look at the big picture. Remind yourself of your reasons for pressing on. It doesn’t matter what it is. It could be trying to get a new job in a difficult job market; getting help for a drug/alcohol addiction; going back to school; starting a business; diversifying a business; writing a book; losing weight; increasing your income; some other thing that I have not mentioned: our goals, dreams and aspirations are as varied as we are.
If no one will cheer for you, be your own greatest cheerleader. People eventually come around. I have noticed that when one person steps out, other people then start to do the same.
This is the last of this series. I hope that you found these posts useful. We are coming to the end of another year. What are you striving for in 2015? What are the biggest obstacles that you have faced in your journey? What other dreamkillers have you come across? Please leave a comment below.
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“A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.”- Vernon Howard