DATING IN MARRIAGEAdeshola Ezeokoli
Dating in marriage? Is dating not something you do before you get married? Are you talking about dating other people?
Yes, you date before you get married and you should continue to date after marriage. Not other people , your spouse. The dating behaviors that made your spouse attractive to you should be carried on in marriage. This adds spice and romance to your married life. Life is pretty routine and so is marriage. If you date your spouse however, it can help break up the monotony and create fun memories in the process. Here are a few ideas.
1. Dress up and go out: Go to a fancy restaurant. Husband, dress up, go outside, ring the bell and “arrive” with a bunch of flowers to pick up your “date”. Don’t talk about the kids or the bills. Talk to each other. Say romantic things, look into each others eyes. No “going Dutch”.
2. Take a vacation: At least once or twice a year take a vacation with your spouse. It may even be a “staycation” ie just book a hotel for the weekend. These are good opportunities to rest together, plan for the future and return invigorated.
3. Do something different: Take a dance class, start swimming lessons,play a sport, take up Sudoku, go to an art show, go hiking. Make up your mind to do something different as much as the budget and time allows.
4. Develop an interest in each other’s interests: My husband has always been something of a computer buff. In the past, I have regarded anything more advanced than a flip-phone with feelings akin to suspicion. Somewhere along the line I developed an interest in his interests and it has brought us closer. One day I heard someone refer to me as “the IT person around here” and I thought to myself, if only you knew! The point is, your married life does become more interesting when you can share some of your spouses interests.
5. Say it!! When you were dating you told your boyfriend/girlfriend how much you loved them and you told your friends how wonderful they were. Who said it had to stop once you got married? Tell your wife you love her, compliment her, make her giggle and feel like your special girl. It works wonders for your relationship.
6. Do something special: If you have been married for any length of time, you will know the things that make your you husband or wife go “Wow”. Surprise them every now and again.
As I usually say: I hope this helps someone. Good night or good morning.