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This subject has been on my radar for the last few days. Do soul mates exist?
In Christianity, touching on the subject of predestination, God knows things before they happen; etc, etc, how does this impact our choice of marriage partner? Is there that one person out there for you, and if you do not make it with that person are you doomed? What if the person happens to be in China, but you are in Nigeria? Uh-Oh. Will you “just know”, once you meet your future partner that they are the one? Will you then have a good marriage with that person, no matter what? After all he/she is your soul mate.

If you are single, Christian and wondering where your spouse to be is, the answer is, they are around you somewhere, but there is no one person without whom you will never reach marital fulfillment. Our life is a sum total of the choices we make and those that are made for us( when we are children); and as with a lot of things, YOU are to choose whom you will marry. As a Christian, it is wise for you to pray for guidance, but God will not force a person on you, it is still up to you to choose. The other side of this coin is thus: do not just throw caution to the wind and marry the first attractive person that comes your way in the name of “well I can choose anyone”. I did not say you can choose just anyone to marry, I said you do not have a rubber stamp with one person’s name only, attached to your life.

There are many, many factors that play into choosing whom to marry, not just the God-factor. There are compatibility issues. There are issues with regards to physical attraction. Socio-cultural issues, character issues, and worldview matters come into play very strongly when deciding who to marry.
In my subsequent blog posts, I will try to address all these issues one at a time, in a practical way, using some examples from my own life, too; in the hope that some brothers and sister will step back from the “there-is-one-person-out-there-and-I-have-to-find-them” mentality.

Watch this space……

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning


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Comments (2)

  • nina Reply

    Bring it on, cant wait to reach the sequel

    July 25, 2013 at 2:17 am
  • olubabamascot Reply

    You have been able to throw a worthy light on the key things people should look out for. First is God. And second is self. The discovery of God as well as the understanding of self will empower people to choose rightly. No more, no less. Before you come to the juncture of marriage, you have been at other important junctures in life. How did you handle them, down memory lane? How did your understanding of God and self (who you are) help you, or aid you, in making the right choices. Or how did your abandonment of what works for you and works with God landed in a sorry state, sometime ago? We all had those experiences as rehearsals and as lessons to help with bigger choice-making deals. Like the big deal of who to marry. If everything you bought on impulse in school didn’t work for you, love at first sight sure won’t work too. If your best of friends today are those who shared/still share your similar views on life (and thus you’ve been together bonded on that level, like forever). Then maritally too, you’ve got to use the same method. WHAT WORKS FOR YOU mostly is WHAT WORKS WITH GOD (**singles hear oo**). Thanks Shola for this educative piece.

    August 13, 2013 at 10:31 pm

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