LIFE IN BALANCE- The Father Every Wife Wants 2Adeshola Ezeokoli
Willing Helper: There is nothing unmanly about helping your wife in the house; there is nothing unmanly about taking care of your children. To expect a wife to do ALL that needs to be done in the house may be rather overwhelming. Unless you can hire a helper for chores, dad, your help is needed. Support is needed especially when your wife is overwhelmed. I have heard of men who say things like “My mother did all the chores and raised five of us,etc, etc…” Well, the truth is that, you do not know what your mother want through; a lot of selective amnesia comes into play; circumstances may have been completely different. For example, if you grew up in a well-to-do African home in the 70s or 80s, your mother may not have worked and if she did she may have had one or two hired domestic helpers, as well as live-in relatives and an extended family support system. Fast forward to this century, living in the USA, a woman working a 10-12 hour day with two or three children, no extended family support and no hired help. The latter woman clearly needs help around the house, help with the children and as much as possible, the means to hire help where possible. A gift of a spa day, is something every mother would appreciate! Now I am not saying a father is expected to do all the household chores. By default most of the domestics fall on the wife. I am talking about stepping in to offer help and support when needed.
Generous provider: I do not care what the feminists say, no woman want to be be the primary bread winner for the home while the dad lazes around like a bum, or only spends money on the household when his wife begs, whines or demands it. This is not meant to be. Even if the lady earns more money than the man, the father is to see to it that nothing is lacking. Money that comes in is not YOUR money or MY money, it is OUR money. Men should not hide money is secret bank accounts from their wives. Men should handle the bills and oversee the household finances. Having said that, the better money manager ( husband or wife) should handle the details of financial distribution, but dad should be able to say, “let us put x dollars to savings” or “let us open a college fund for the children” etc. Now everyone goes through stuff. Sometimes men lose their jobs and mom may be the only bread winner. Even when a woman is shouldering the main financial burden, dad should not behave as though he does not care because he is not physically bringing home the bacon.
Well, that’s all for now folks. My next post will be the concluding segment of the series.
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