The 3 A’s of marriageAdeshola Ezeokoli
This is a reblog. It is a few pointers from a speech I gave at a wedding recently.
1.Accept: You should be accepting of the other person. Never communicate to your spouse that they are in some way flawed, broken, or do not measure up. Acceptance does not mean being happy with your spouse’s flaws. It does mean however, that knowing those flaws, you choose to be patient with your spouse as he or she works on becoming a better person.
2.Adjust: In marriage you have to adjust to living with another person, their wants, needs and desires; their flaws and foibles, their habits. Do they drop their socks on the floor? No problem! Pick them up, step over them,or drop yours on the floor too! *Insert laughter here*. Do they squeeze the toothpaste from the middle? Again,no problem! Join them, rearrange the toothpaste tube after them or buy another tube of toothpaste. I hear you ask, what about the serious stuff? Read my post on communication. You still have to adjust to the fact that what you see as serious as a heart attack may not be that serious to your spouse and vice versa. Adjustment means to learn the other persons communication styles and respond accordingly. People run into problems when they take an attitude of I don’t have to adjust, I am who I am etc. This does not work in the real world of marriage. Sometimes you have to do things just to keep the other person happy!
3.Allow: Make allowances. No one is perfect, therefore no marriage is perfect. Make allowance for the PMS, and the had-a-bad-day-at-work; and the had-a-bad-day-at-home; and the burnt dinner; and the fall-asleep-during-foreplay; and the I-forgot-my-keys(again). Each spouse needs to make allowances for the other person’s not so stellar times.
Hope this helps someone!